LET THE BALLOON TAKE THE STRAIN
BRITISH RAIL have announced details of their new Bristol to Bath balloon shuttle, which will replace the exisiting rail link. The service will run four times daily, with reduced flights at weekends.
THERE WAS a pleasant surprise for the owner of Keynsham's transport cafe this week as the popular eatery was included in Egon Ronay's new 'Guide To Good Breakfast', published next month by Fictitious Books.
HARDEST PUB TOP 10
THE WINGROVE hold on to top spot this month, but watch out for The Talbot after a 4-place jump to number 3 following Friday night's home win against the New Inn.
[POS] Pub - Points
 Wingrove - 7.6
 Charlton - 6.4
 Talbot - 6.1
 Trout Tavern - 5.7
 Pioneer - 5.2
 New Inn - 3.9
 Crown - 2.1
 Bar 19 - 1.8
 Ship - 1.4
 Lock Keeper 0.2
CRIME CAN'T BE PAYING
THE NUMBER of reported crimes in Keynsham has fallen by 50% in the last quarter according to a recent police report. The document goes on to detail the reasons why the local station has been forced to close half-days for the last three months.
DUE TO essential maintenance, Charlton Road will be closed to all traffic between Whichurch and the High Street from October 12th to December 31st.
BEARDO SWITCHES IT
THIS YEAR'S High Street Christmas illumination will be officially turned on by former England forward Peter Beardsley as part of the town's world-famous Victorian Evening in November.
SMELLS LIKE FUN
A FAMILY fun day is being held next weekend at Keynsham sewage works, Broadmead Lane. Events include a Survivor-style Log Stand endurance test and yellow water rafting. All are welcome to attend. Refreshments and Tetanus jabs will be available on the day. Entrance is £3 at the gate or £4 in advance.
THE WEAKEST SINK
AN UNDERWATER pub quiz is being held at the towns' leisure centre following the success of a similar event held at the Lock Keeper Pub in February.
ROMAN ROAD TO RUIN
KEYNSHAM'S ROMAN ruins are set to star in the sequel to the Oscar-winning film 'Gladiator', due to be shot in the town next year.
OUR SPORTS correspondent Rocky Rhodes is currently 'on holiday' in the Leyhill region. Full sports coverage will probably return next month.
AN APPEAL has gone out to local residents asking for more pets to be mislaid following a recent local news shortage.
A TELEPHONE box has been stolen from the Wellsway, Keynsham, sometime during the small hours of 2003. A similar crime was reported in Park Road. All remaining boxes are currently under surveillance.
63 PARK ROAD: Permission for change of use from residential dwelling to licensed adult entertainment club. Status: GRANTED.
46D FARLEIGH ROAD: Request for permit to install a roof top all-weather artifical football pitch and changing facilities. Status: GRANTED.
178 TEMPLE STREET: Permission sought for alteration of window box location. Status: REFUSED.
SHOW'S OVER FOLKS
KEYNSHAM'S CHARLTON cinema will close it's doors for the last time this week after plans were approved to demolish the not-quite-listed building to make way for a new cinema.
FOR SALE, 1970's clock tower. Four clocks plus plinth and electrical fittings. Needs some minor restoration. £120 ono. Call Darren 00788 754356. Buyer collects.
WANTED, drugs. All types considered. Cash waiting. Contact 'Seamus' c/o Keynsham Park.
FREE TO good homes. Mint copies of the Bristol Observer. See local paper boy for details.
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NOTHING MUCH in the way of 'hold the front page' last-minute news yet, but if the world ends, this is where you'll read it.